Thursday, September 24, 2009

Panic Prayers

I thought the breast cancer scare was tough enough, and then I went to the ear doctor last week to find out why I had such a sudden and severe loss in hearing and understanding words, which was discovered during a routine hearing test. I am deaf and wear hearing aides, but even with the aides I cannot clearly hear voices.

The doctor said I would need to see a specialist, and that I needed to have a brain MRI immediately to see if there were any abnormalities that could have caused the sudden loss.

During a Bible Study, when I requested prayer for the MRI brain scan and expressed my fears about possible brain abnormalities, my friend Marsha insisted on going with me. She cancelled an appointment she had for that time, stating that I should not be alone when I had the MRI.

About an hour before the test last Wednesday, our pastor-friend, Greg, called as he felt impressed of the Lord to do so. He prayed for my healing as he did before the mammogram. I especially realized that it was a miracle I didn’t have cancer after my friend, Shannon, told me she was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer at the age of thirty-eight. It all started with a massive breast infection, such as I had.

Throughout the hour brain MRI test, the top half of my body was in a long capsule-like tomb. I have claustrophobia, and so I started to panic. I had to stay perfectly still for an hour as the machine whirred, screeched, whined, and screamed. It was so loud the technician had given me earplugs to help me survive the noise. 

My panicky feelings began to worsen, and so I repeated names of God and “Jesus.” Then the words of this worship song began to play in my mind:

Praise the name of Jesus,

Praise the name of Jesus,

He’s my rock,

He’s my deliverer,

In Him will I trust.

Praise the name of Jesus.

The unusual part is that I had not heard that worship song in a long time. I knew God had given it to me to calm my heart and to draw me to trust in Him and praise Him who would deliver me. Before the final fifteen minutes, the technician put an IV in my arm so that dye would flow throughout my brain and contrast tests were made for comparison with the non-dye portion of the MRI. As my mind drifted off to other thoughts, I panicked, and felt compelled to sing the song. I was amazingly relaxed as long as I kept singing Praise the name of Jesus.            

Marsha had come with me and kept patting my leg throughout the test to let me know she was praying for me. I was grateful for her caring presence.

I have discovered that whenever I am experiencing a stressful test or experience, it helps me to repeat the name of “Jesus” or a scripture verse or to sing a worship chorus or hymn. The second I began to think of anything else, the panic and fear overwhelm me. I am again reminded that prayer begins with God. He puts on our hearts exactly what we need to pray, and in this instance it was Praise the Name of Jesus. Praise and worship songs are also a form of prayer.

God is my rock and deliverer, and I am thankful to say that every part of the MRI showed that my brain is normal.  I still don’t know why the sudden hearing loss, but I am praising the name of Jesus.